Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
