Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize