Princesses don't give blow jobs
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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