I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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