My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
