Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
