Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
