OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
