I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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