In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
