So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize