The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
