I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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