Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
