And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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