I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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