Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
