Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
