Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize