i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
