OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
