You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
When are your genitals available?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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