I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I fill condoms, not promises.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
