she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
