Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
