i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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