Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
