I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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