Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize