So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
