Already got asked if we're dating
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm too high and old for this...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
