Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Randomize
