Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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