doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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