I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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