seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
