i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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