my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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