I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
