Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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