weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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