I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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