just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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