i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
