Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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