can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
