I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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