you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
