i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize