You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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