omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize