Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize