They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize