direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
