he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
