I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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