why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
