I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Operation Purity has been aborted
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
