Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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